I understand feeling as small
and as insignificant as humanly possible,
and how it can actually ache in places
that you didn’t know you had inside you,
and it doesn’t matter
how many new haircuts you get
or gyms you join or how many glasses of
chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends,
you still go to bed every night
going over every detail,
and wonder what you did wrong
or how you could have misunderstood.
And how in the hell, for that brief moment,
you could think that you were that happy?
And sometimes you can even
convince yourself that he’ll see the light
and show up at your door.
And after all that,
however long all that may be,
you’ll go somewhere new
and you’ll meet people
who make you feel worthwhile again,
and little pieces of your soul
will finally come back.
And all that fuzzy stuff,
those years of your life that you wasted,
that will eventually begin to fade.